harapku tuhanku..

harapnya aku masih percaya

kau senantiasa memerhatikan aku

tiada siapa yang lebih rapat dari aku selain engkau

lebih rapat dari kedua ibu bapa ku

lebih rapat dari teman-teman ku

lebih rapat dari urat tengkuk ku

harapnya aku tidak lupa asal usul ku

harapnya aku tidak terus leka

harapnya aku tidak terus hanyut dengan peredaran masa

harapnya aku masih lagi kuat untuk terus berpaut

harapnya aku masih lagi sedar

harapnya aku masih boleh percaya

harapnya aku masih boleh terus akur dengan kehendak-Mu

harapnya aku boleh terus tabah

harapnya aku boleh terus menyinta dan menyayangi-Mu

harapnya qaseh dan cinta yang kau kurniakan dalam diri aku

aku pulangkan kembali kepada-Mu

kerana aku tahu bagaimana rasanya cinta yang tidak terbalas

kerana aku tau bagaimana rasanya menunggu sesuatu

mungkin saat azan bergema

saat itu juga engkau menunggu aku menghadap-Mu

tetapi aku tidak

engkau terus menunggu dan menunggu

ampuni segala dosa aku

harapnya aku tidak lupa bahawa engkau yang berkuasa

betul kata abah ' when you pray, you will this kind of strange feelings'

'it's calm and peaceful. you'll feel safe'

'don't ever forget, he can take everything you have'

'he can take me from you even your mom'

'everytime he wants, anytime he wants'

'what he gives you now, is only for a while'

'please don't forget that aisyah'

'maybe i seldom perform my prayers, but i try'

'and you should do too'

aku pernah rasa ketenangan yang abah katakan

aku pernah menghadap-Mu

tapi entah kenapa aku berhenti

mungkin kerana aku sudah temui apa yang aku cari

mungkin kerana aku lupa

:(

ramadhan semakin tiba.

tabah kan hati aku Tuhanku

kuatkan iman aku

aku mau semuanya sempurna tahun ini

tidak seperti tahun sebelumnya

**the 'other' side of me decided to wrote this

and i want to meet her. i want to meet the 'other' me! i

i know i'll find her.. somehow.

having fun with my webcam :)

idk samaada gambar ni jelas ke tak. but it doesn't matter. yang penting orang dalam webcam tu nama dia azam :)

a friend of eqa. eqa kenalkan aku pada dia we still keep in touch since then. dia sangat comel and there's is no way anything would happen between us. biasa-biasa aja. aku baru ingat nak paste conversation kitorang kat sini tapi on second thought tak yah la. entah apa-apa si azam merepek. haha. aku sangat penat malam tu. sebab tu aku lepak dalam bilik aja. then my brother came in. bawak out new fresh kitten. ehee. comell :)

**camouflage?

**baby milky :3

**afiq and baby milky

a total of 12 cats in the house is making me crazy -______-!

i'm still not done about yesterday!

so yesterday, lepas pegi tengok motor, abah pegi tengok kereta dekat salah satu cawangan EON dekat ampang. aku and adik-adik was wondering what is dad up to now. dia banyan sangat suprises lately. i ask him whether he wants to buy a car for mom. dia kata tak. but he keeps asking me, samaada mak suka ke tak kereta ni. then we move to proton exora. i like it. sangat spacious. we go for a test drive. sama dengan encik yang kerja kat situ. agak lama we all pegi test drive. dapat la jugak merasa naik kereta mewah. i know, abah agak berat hati tengok kitorang naik truck dia. sempit and all. but we never complain. then lepas habes test drive my dad offers encik tu pegi minum kat kedai mamak berhampiran. my sister, kynn kynn don't feel so good. dia kata sakit perut. then petang tu masa tengah minum-minum with dad's friend, dia demam. then we all terus balik. sampai saja klinik, which is just in front of my house, across the road. aku dapa rasa something bad is happening. aku dengar macam ada haiwan kene pukul. i step out of the car, bunyi anjing rupanya. then my brother told me ada anjing dalam parit. he can't get out. poor dog. aku suruh abah call bomba. afiq teman kynn kynn pegi klinik. while me and abah pegi seberang jalan tengok anjing tu. kesian dia. me and dad memang ada niat nak masuk and help him out tapi takut dia gigit plus parit tu sangat dalam and air longkang sangat deras memandang baru saja lepas hujan. parit dekat kosas ni banyak telan nyawa pelajar sekolah rendah. so it's kinda dangerous then we decided untuk tunggu bomba dekat tepi parit. semua orang pandang aku and abah. diorang pelik kenapa aku ngan abah tengok dalam parit. diorang semua turun kereta and ask us what's going on. then my dad explain. sebenarnya anjing tu dah tersekat dalam longkang sejak pukul 5 pagi tadi and skarang dah pukul 6 petang. no wonder that dog is shouting for help and he's shaking. he might be hungry. poor dog. kaki dia dah biru. damn! aku tak tahan tengok mata dia yang menyedihkan tu. ada jugak beberapa orang cina and india duduk sama kitorang. ada jugak yang cuba usaha nak tangkap anjing tu. macam-macam usaha but failed. then datang satu pak arab keluar dari kereta

'what's going on?'

'dog, dog'

jawab satu mat motor ni. then orang tak berperikemanusiaan tu gelak and go. tuhan je yang tau bertapa geramnya aku. abah bilang

'cuba kalau dia yang jadi anjing ni. apa dia buat agaknya?'

i choose to smile. dah banyak orang datang tengok. ramai sangat! everyone is looking at me and dad. semua orang tanya kenapa. ramai yang gelakkan aku and abah. i tell you what, aku bet semua orang yang gelakkan kitorang tu akan cerita pada orang lain. tell them what? tell them that there's this two wierd person making a big fuss about a dog who trapped inside the drain? maybe diorang tak sedar orang yang mendengar tu mungkin akan cakap dalam hati

'where is your sense of humanity?'

for god sake! there's a brain inside your head and use it wisely!. bomba memang sucks! sejam lepas tu baru diorang datang. there's no use. that dog da pun lari masuk ke dalam parit. lagi dalam. which may cause the dog drown. bomba cuma datang, tengok dalam parit. tak ada inisiatif nak masuk, aku bet diorang tak bawak hand glove! dah tau engkau tu ISLAM, kalau kau geli sangat bawak la glove siap-siap. bapak aku dah cakap da ANJING dalam parit. bodoh! so akhir cerita, anjing tu tak dapat diselamatkan. i wonder where is he now. aku harap kau baik-baik aja ya anjing. aku tak dengar pun kau menjerit mintak tolong lagi. ada dua kemungkinan. mungkin kau sudah pun dihanyut kan atau ka sudah pun berjaya menyelamatkan diri kau sendiri. maafkan aku sebab tak mampu tolong. kalau kau mampu berbicara mungkin kau akan bilang

'aku yang tak punya otak ni pun mampu menyelamatkan diri aku sendiri. berbanding korang manusia yang punya otak.'

i've been tagged!

1. Apakah benda terakhir yang kamu beli dengan wang sendiri??
dunhill lights :)

2. Apakah benda paling penting dlm hidup kamu?
family, friends, money, handphone and food

3. Dimanakah tempat impian perkahwinan kamu??
di taman yang sangat cantik

4. Berapa lama hubungan kamu berkekalan?
paling lama sebulan setengah kot. i can't recall

5. Adakah anda sedang dilamun cinta??
idk. it's not important.

6. Dimanakah restoran terakhir kamu makan malam??
kedai mamak kat kampung melayu

7. Namakan buku terakhir yang kamu beli?
aisyah; keanggunan sejati

8. Apakah nama penuh kamu??
Aisyah bt. Nor Azman

9. Kamu lebih senang dengan ayah atau mak??
dadd <3

10. Namakan seseorang yang ingin kamu jumpa dalam hidup kamu buat
pertama kalinya?
Aiman dan Azam :)

11. Sebutkan 8 nama sahabat yang paling rapat dengan kamu.
1. Suzie
2. Aien
3. Nadd
4. Eqa
5. Kak Ana
6. Kak Yayan
7. My Sister
8. My Darling kittens

12. Adakah kamu mencuci pakaian sendiri??
i use the washing machine so does that consider as a yes?

13. Tempat yang paling seronok yang kamu mahu pergi?
JB

14. Butirkan 5 perkara tentang orang yang tag kamu..
1. menggila
2. suka merapu
3. seorang kawan yang setia pada kawannya
4. suka bekerja keras (wokaholic)
5. sangat peramah

15. 8 perkara yang amat saya gilai??
1. boys ;)
2. hugs and kisses
3. money
4. food
5. photography
6. arts and culture
7. music!
8. piercings

16. Pelukan atau ciuman??
Hugs :)

17. 8 perkataan yang sering diucapkan??
1. bodoh
2. babi
3. kimak
4. lancau
5. shit
6. comell
7. adoi ai
8. bangang

18. 8 buah buku yang paling baru di baca??
1. anjung seri
2. aisyah; keanggunan sejati
3. teknologi binaan bangunan
4. and i don't remember

19. 8 lagu yang saya boleh dengar berulang kali??
1. plutonik love : kafabindunya
2. osterbotten : cult of luna
3. flyswatter : eels
4. sweet ballad : munchausen by proxy
5. viva la vida : coldplay
6. gore gore gadget : annotations of an autopsy
7. hym : isis
8. like a star : corrine bailey rae


20. Mari men'TAG' 8 orang lain...
1. Nadd Nidd Nudd
2. Aleena
3. Ezza
4. Bacteria
5. Kak Wewe
6. Gnet
7. Yana
8. rhlhyt

the great lost, the talk and nouvo s

after watching changeling i called my friends. just a little chat. entah tiba-tiba aku tergerak hati nak tengok calendar. sebab dua minggu aku duduk rumah, aku tak tau tarikh and hari. baru aku tau minggu depan, wednesday is my first time going to practical and the big day (envy) is getting near. haha gosh! ok ok aisya calm yourself down, you know things not going to happen if you're getting too excited.

then i decided to on my myspace. aku ada ternampak current mood seorang teman tulis BYE BYE JACKO. i was so curious sebab bertimbun bulletins were post. even a band ANNOTATIONS OF AN AUTOPSY is paying their respect thru the bulletin. i decided to seek a help from mr. yahoo and it's true. jacko's dead. *tears*

honestly, i'm not a big fan of this wacko jacko thingy but still, i respect his talent and crotch-grabbing dance moves ;)

he died after living for 50 years at UCLA hospital, Los Angeles , followed by the sexy Farrah Fawcet,a former baywatch star. i'm not sure why she died. but believe me, michael jackson's death will give a huge impact in the music industry. it's not easy for you to earn the title 'king of pop' DAMN! he puts a lot of effort just to get the title and even go crazy about it. dear jacko, may you rest in peace.

so i called eqa, aku risau dia tak dapat tempat OJT lagi. then the first thing she said is

"cha michael jackson da mampos!"

pergh! thanks a lot eqa! haha. so alhamdulillah dia dah dapat tempat praktikal dekat sentul. but sad to hear she won't get any allowance from the company and the only privillege the company can provide is no payment in using the KTM. its free since she's working at KTM sentul. so after that i called paan. after a few laughs and jumps.

my dad any brother finally got home from the mosque for friday prayers. then aku teriak

"abahh jom tengok motor"

i was just joking and my dad took it seriously and want all of us to get ready. so there it is, NOUVO S. my baby! my boyfie! the name is TETSUYA FUKUGAWA orite. i don't care. it's my bike and i like that name. *smug*

mungkin takat tu saja yang bapak aku mampu provide. memudahkan lagi pergerakan aku untuk ke tempat kerja. walaupun aku masih lagi tak punya lesen. aku akan cuba dapatkannya secepat yang mungkin. :)

i like the way my dad teach us how to live. dalam keadaan yang sangat sederhana. mungkin pada orang yang berkemampuan akan bilang

"eleh baru dapat motor nak bising."

i tell u what, kami suka hidup begini. kemudahan yang bapak aku bagi, sedikit demi sedikit. mengikut kemampuan dia pada ketika itu and sometimes even small things can make us happy nak mati. for example, he bought us 4 cats on the same day, from different places. stray cat and believe me, aku and adik-adik sangat happy! walapun stray cats. walaupun kucing tu sakit. bukan kucing persian yang pemalas and budget precious tu and my dad sangat happy tengok kitorang happy. dia pernah bilang

'ini ja yang abah mampu bagi anak-anak abah. belajar rajin-rajin'

dia tak pernah lupa cakap perkataan tu setiap kali dia berikan kegembiraan buat aku and adik-adik. semenjak dia bawak balik kucing 4 ekor tu, aku dah bertekad nak berikan semula kegembiraan pada dia seperti mana dia bagi kepada aku and adik-adik. mungkin pada lisan aku PERNAH bilang aku tertekan dengan sikap abah, mungkin pada previus entri aku, aku PERNAH bilang aku mau berhenti menuntut. but believe me, i didn't mean it. this blog is made to express my feelings. deep down it inside, i'm struggling to be someone. to prove to my extra class teacher who once mentioned

'i can't teach your daughter, she's too slow'

THAT I AM NOW STUDYING IN ARCHITECTURE AND I SCORED AN 'A' IN MY ADD MATHS!

and prove to my high school principle who once said

'kau patutnya kelas bawah, bukannya kelas atas. penipu'

THAT I AM NOW LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO FURTHER MY STUDIES IN DIPLOMA BERBANDING CLASSMATES YANG GELAKKAN AKU PADA WAKTU ITU, YANG SEKARANG MOST OF THEM BUAT CERITA BLUE, YANG JUAL BURGER.

my precious dad have to hear all of those things. how sad he is to know i've been gone thru such things on such tender age. believe me i still remember his face. i still remember how embarrased i am to walk down the corridor, from the second highest class to the second lower class. with my friends laughing and pointing thier dirty fingers. i still cries everytime i remember that moment. i still remember how dad's face when my aunt ask

'how is aisya doin in her extra class?'

sebab dia yang recommend my parents to hire the teacher. the fee is so expensive at that moment and we don't have any money. but i understand my dad wants the best for us. so he paid. i was so excited to go to the class since it was my first day. dari pagi aku kemas barang nak pegi tuisyen malam tu. and that night, after the class ends, that's when the awful lady broke my dad's heart. that was the first and the last class i attended. back home i told mom and dad about my first class since i'm so excited. then my mom hold my hand, and abah tengah garu kepala dia yang tak gatal. aku tau ada benda yang tak elok terjadi and my dad said

'aisya, cekgu tu tak nak ajar aisya lagi, she said you're too slow'

aku diam. aku pandang bawah. abah menghampiri aku

'this is your chance to prove to her you can do it! score the best for your finals and stick the results on her forehead'

i laughed. after the talk ends, i walk inside my room and cry. i cry as much as i can. aku koyak nota yang aku tulis dengan kemas masa tuisyen malam tadi. aku keluar untuk makan malam. tak sedar mata aku masih merah and bengkak. mak peluk. aku tau mak nampak.

mak abah, i'm sorry if i ever yelled at you. cha minta maaf kalau cha selalu memberontak sebab nak cari 'oh-so-called-freedom', nak berpoya sana sini. i'm so sorry if i ever slammed the door on your face. Lock the door and sit in my bedroom than spending my time with you guys watching your favorite shows. sorry for spending too much time on the internet and writting this darn blog than talking with you guys. i swear to god! i will PAY my 'debts'. *TEARS*

the changeling :)

ok now where should i start? cause today, there's just too many things happen and i don't know where to start. hee.

it was early in the morning. i don't know why. maybe i'm too excited that envy is going to perform here in MALAYSIA. it's a dream come true okay and guess what? my dad offers to buy the ticket fer me. hakhakhak. *some kinda annoying laugh*

because of envy and my dad's shocking decision :

1. i take a shower once again after

he said he'll buy me the ticket

for no reason

(actually masa tu aku baru lepas mandi)

2. i use the shampoo as my body shower

3. i use the body shower for shampoo

4. i brush my teeth using face cleanser

5. i wash my face using the toothpaste

it's been quite sometime i yelled the word 'eh' in the bathroom. thank god no one know what happened. but still. kepala aku jadi tak betul. than i looked in to the mirror and laugh all i can and then rasa macam air panas turun kat pipi aku and i said

"ENVY"

kinda stupid. i know. in case you're reading nadd, please don't be suprised if i might cry during the concert. sebab tengok dia perform live dalam youtube pun aku dah nanges. apa kau mau bilang?

hahaha

so cerita hari ni. satu lagi movie berjaya aku download. called CHANGELING. cerita dia sangat cool orite! its about the relationship between a mother and her son. it was based on a true story. the story makes me ballin couple ef times. cerita tu berjaya sampai ke jiwa aku. yeay for the director!.

dalam cerita tu dia mengisahkan bertapa kuatnya naluri seorang ibu and macam mana kehidupan pada masa itu. perempuan tidak punya hak untuk bersuara and bagaimana pihak berkuasa pada zaman itu sangatla tak guna. ada satu watak ni, perempuan tu kerja di kelab malam. salah satu pelanggan ni over-reacting. then dia lapor perkara ni pada pihak polis. tapi sayang tak ada yang melayan. lalu dia ambil langkah drastik dengan memberitahu pihak media. tanpa di sedari, pelanggan dia tu adalah salah seorang dari pihak berkuasa tersebut dan dia disumbatkan ke dalam hospital sakit jiwa kerana dia memalukan pihak berkuasa. tujuan polis sumbat dia dalam hospital tu is because tak ada siapa yang akan percayakan pujuk rayu perempuan gila (sedangkan dia tidak). the ending is quite good. i suggest you all to watch it ;)